It wasn't me...it was my leg!!

In case you don't know, my leg goes inside a socket. My prosthesis stays on by a combination of socks, gravity, and suction. Since I have the silicone sock with the pin that locks into the socket, my leg does not move up and down as much as it used to. However, sometimes air still gets trapped between my leg and the socket causing a very unfortunate sound. I do not like using the "f" word but it is the same sound created when you cup your hand under your armpit and vigorously flap your arm up and down. This used to happen A LOT when I first got my prosthesis. What is left of my real leg swells and shrinks during the day, which is why my leg will move up and down inside the socket. One time in high school, we were getting ready to march over to the football field. I was in line behind Derek and my leg made that unforgivable noise when I stepped forward. He turned around and looked at me. Quickly, I shouted it was my leg and attempted to recreate the sound to prove my story. It failed to deliver. I tell myself he was laughing because I was so embarrassed about it and not because he thinks I was trying to cover something up. Finally, my leg did it again. This made him laugh harder but at least this time, I could laugh/cry with him.

This unfortunate incident happened again when I was taking a college course in Wellness or something like that which no longer is needed for my degree. We were in a small gym area learning about yoga. I was on my back and when I was told to put my left foot on my right knee, my leg made a sound that reverberated throughout the gym. I sat up like I had been electrocuted and clutched my leg like I was in pain. I turned to the closest person to me and started babbling about my leg coming off and how it makes that sound when air is trapped. This girl...I never looked at her face, said she understood and went back to doing her flying dog pose or whatever it's called. I remember laying back down and staying down on the mat not moving until it was time to leave. I never looked up from my feet as I followed my classmates out the door. Why, why, why, did that have to happen? Ugh! I get embarrassed just thinking about it....I should have stood up and stopped class and showed them that my leg has pseudo flatulence issues!

I think I am okay now. I haven't had an incident in a long time. Hopefully, I will prepare my students in case a situation arises. In which case, I will demand a time out for the class to cup their hands under their armpits and flap vigorously for at least five minuets.