There was an error in this gadget

Saturday, May 15, 2010

My Freaking EYE!!!

Well it has been one week exactly since I graduated from college. It feels weird. I don't think it has sunk in yet. Now I have to get a real job. Oh yeah, the teaching in Asia thing. I spoke to my contact person and he said take all the time you need to get your leg better. The school is open all year round and they are very interested in having me teach. Which made me feel a lot better about my situation. Now if I could just get my eye fixed.

Last Friday, I got all dressed up to go out and celebrate my graduation. My cousin drove all the way down from Cali for it, and we always have a blast on Dickson or whereever we go. I was putting on eyeliner for the first time in years, and an eyelash got stuck in my eye. I got it out...I think...but my eye would not stop watering after that. I think it was a combo of the lash and the liner. It was still watering on the day of graduation. My grandma thought I was crying when they handed me my diploma because she saw me wipe a tear from my eye. I wasn't crying. I'm not that sappy. It was boring sitting down there. I played tic tac toe with a girl sitting next to me as we waited for the next 400 students to get their diplomas.

It's been a week and my eye is still watering. I'm going to the doctor on Monday. Hopefully it is something that can be eaisly fixed. I'm getting to the point where I want it removed, becoming one step closer to being a pirate.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

3 AM Thoughts and Lost Adventures

Is it "living with a disability" when you are born with it and have never known anything different? Wouldn't that just be living? I don't know why that thought came to me but it could be from the pain I have suffered this weekend. I couldn't hardly walk last night after cleaning my house.

My leg was hurting really bad. When my leg does this,it always hurts at the bend of the knee, where my leg meets the prosthesis. I was cleaning my house and I guess that is too much activity for me to handle. Granted, my house did resemble a landfill for teachers, but I still should have been able to clean it without being in pain.

I was invited to a party that evening and I had to walk around stiff legged because it hurt to bend my knee. I really wanted to go swimming, but I think it would have made things worse, at least that night.

I hate being limited because of my leg. I have decided that I should NOT go to Korea at this time. Oh yeah, I didn't mention Korea on here. I applied to teach English overseas in Asia. I was accepted and I am in the middle of filling out the remaining paperwork in order to go teach at a private school in South Korea for a year. After this weekend though, I have to admit to myself that I can not go with the state my leg is in at this time. And it is very possible that something like this or worse could happen while I am over there.

This was a hard decision to make/accept. I've been thinking about teaching in general and I don't think I should teach the younger grades because of my leg either. In Kindergarten you need to get down on the floor or constantly crouch to be on the kids level. There are some things I can do to help make using my leg easier. I just have to do it. I think finally I have the motivation to do what needs to be done. Otherwise, I won't be living, I will be existing....with a disability.