Well, It has been a long time since I have posted anything new. Not much has happenend in the last few months. I have been subbing a lot which I am very thankful for because I learn how to deal with extenuating circumstances almost everyday. And it was on one of these learning days that I decided the best way to deal with the situation that arose, was to freak the kids out (just a little bit).
It was a second grade class I was subbing for. First time I had this age group. I was curious to see how they differ from first and third graders. It was a relaxed kind of day. Christmas was coming up so there were lots of fun activities for the class to do. It was still kinda hard keeping up with their energy level. I could feel my leg starting to sweat off...but it was almost the end of the day. Most of the kids were gone on the early transfer bus so the rest of the class was just going to watch a video on holidays around the world. I couldnt get the projector to come on with the remote, so while the kids were sitting on the carpet I came up between them and stood on my tip toes to turn on the projector. My leg came up out of my silicone liner almost completely. When I went back down on my feet...my leg went back inside the liner taking all the surrounding air with it that had escaped into the pocket I made when the liner came out. Guess what happened. Yeah, that's right. My leg farted. Not just a little fart. But the very loud machiene gun kind. At first the kids were stunned, then they were like "Did she just fart??!!" then they were holding their noses and moaning with exaggerated agony like I let off the world's biggest stink bomb. And they were laughing so hard I didn't think they would ever stop. I think I went through about 7 emotions in about three seconds: Embarrassment, panic, denial, anger at their overreaction, anger at my thought of anger over their overreaction, hysterical laughter at my perdicament, acceptance. I knew what I had to do. I got the kids to quiet down..kinda, and told them I was gonna tell them a story about what just happened. I sat down and told them I had a fake leg, and I pulled up my pant leg to show them. Everyone was quiet and not laughing. I told a short story about how my real leg was hurt and they had to make me a new one and now I had a robot leg that sometimes made noises. All eyes were on me and my leg. I could tell they believed me and that my leg left them flabbergasted. Then one little girl, the one sitting closest to me, who was poking at my fake leg blurted out, "Can you make it fart again?"